I belong to an exclusive sports club. Actually, not that exclusive since they'll let anyone in who is willing to pay their exorbitant monthly fee, but it's where Boris Becker sometimes plays tennis.They offer a friendly staff, child care, horses, an upscale restaurant, state-of-the-art machines and all sorts of classes. Plus the odd Boris Becker sighting.
It's my one luxury.
My favorite classes are Fighting Fit, which involves lots of kicking and punching to music, and Monday yoga. I've taken a fair number of yoga classes by now and I can tell you that Caroline, the instuctor at my gym, is unusually good. She pushes you just the right amount, does a good balance between stretching and muscle work and speaks in a well-modulated Kathleen Turner voice that every famale yoga instructor should be required to have.
The only false note is the Iron Man class next door. As we yogis slowly and serenely greet the sun, focusing on our breath, we can hear Iron Man screaming, 'EEEEIIIINSSSS!!! ZWEIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! DREIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! VIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!'
Iron Man is a little soft spoken guy but he really gets excited during his class, which is hugely popular with extremely fit women who like being yelled at.
The most jarring part is at the end when we do our relaxation. We lie on the floor exhausted and sweating while the harp music plays and Caroline softly takes us through several mediation phases. . .
Caroline: Close your eyes and breathe deeply.
Iron Man: WAKE UP, LADIES, NO FALLING ASLEEP!!!'
Caroline: Feel the sensation of relaxation traveling up your bodies, starting with your toes.
Iron Man: DON'T RELAX! WORK HARDER! GIVE ME MORE! YESSSSS!
Caroline: Feel the stress leaving your body through your fingertips...
Iron Man: WORK IT! MORE! MORE! MORE!
Caroline: Feel how you are one with everything. Feel the entire universe around you. Don't focus on anything. Let yourself go.
Iron Man: FOCUS!!! THERE'S NOTHING BUT YOU AND THE MAT.
Contradictions and conflicting directions. Part of life, I guess.
Hilarious...I'm sure it is distracting, but your story put a huge smile on my face. Thanks for the early morning chuckle.
ReplyDeleteThat's too funny! Well, maybe not so much for you when you're trying to feel the universe around you. ;)
ReplyDeleteHmm. That might make for an interesting loop on your ipod for . . . you know . . . oh never mind. I'm turning red.
ReplyDeleteI am not a yogi. I like to punch things.
ReplyDeleteI laughed the whole way through this! Hilarious! I want to take his class now!
ReplyDeleteLOL SO funny. Could be prep for parenthood too!
ReplyDeleteYeah, just like life.
ReplyDeleteWe have a racquetball court next to our group exercise room. Whop. Whop. WHOP. SPLAT!
LOL! Your yoga room needs some of those sound proofing acoustic tiles. Now that I think about it, I need those throughout my house.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised they haven't realized the error in their scheduling at your ultra exclusive expensive spot? I guess you don't have many American complainers there!
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I really enjoyed reading this post however I must admit if my Yoga was interrupted by Iron Man his excitement I would be annoyed - especially if I was trying to feel the entire universe!
ReplyDeleteThe juxtaposition of the two really is like life!
ReplyDeleteBack up there... you have a gym that has horses? What - to ride, rent or just look at?
ReplyDeleteYoga sounds, well, interesting...
I guess you are getting both yin and yang.
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny! I have too much trouble even trying to get into those positions. If I heard that guy yelling, I'd laugh and fall over for sure.
ReplyDeleteI guess the two balance each other - which ties right into yoga, really.
ReplyDeleteVerging on the edge, it takes a tiny fraction of that to push me over. Especially when paying to feel the universe in my posh club. I would feel compromised and angry. Oh, wait, I already do. Who needs yoga? But maybe one day when I frequent a sports club with horses and time to myself, iron man-intruder will feel manageable.
ReplyDeleteToo funny to read.
Ok, My previous comment and my only adult interaction today followed by some time alone in the shower, leaves me disgusted. Perhaps the posh gym membership is more likely to occur for those of stable mind and fair-to-excellent control over emotions. Safe bet says that if you gave me a posh club membership and time to go, I would still feel rattled and caged in. Bleh. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWell Mr.Boris "Boom Boom" Becker is a good enough reason to join this exclusive sports club.Glad to hear that you have joined a yoga class.Try to post some pictures of yours.As far as Iron Man and Caroline goes,both have their own ways to bring out the best from you guys.Thanks for the account.
ReplyDeleteI think they scheduled classes that way on purpose so your Universe Feeler gets a challenging workout, too.
ReplyDeleteHorses at the gym? You brat!
Thanks for the post, it seems you have such a lot of interest in these classes, try to post more details about these classes...I think yoga is really very helpful so you also continue..
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