April 30, 2009

Me and you and a dog named Boo

Today we're doing something a little unusual and long overdue. We're driving to Italy in a Porsche. No kids.

Glamorous as this sounds, this is a low-budget vacation. It is a borrowed Porsche. We will be staying with friends in central Italy then spending two nights in Milan with other friends to celebrate our 7th anniversary. We won't be having dinner at the Ritz, we'll be hitting our favorite pizzaria where the guy actually throws the dough into the air.

You can do this sort of thing in Munich, where four to six hours driving brings you to lots of hot vacation spots.

Sadly it is raining right now but I am confident it will stop sometime in the next four days.

We will, of course, be offsetting our travel emmissions with TerraPass, which is the environmental equivalent of a Hail Mary.

Ciao, baby!

April 26, 2009

The End of the World, etc.

Ralf writes a blog for the company we work for, which is perhaps why he avoids interesting topics such as kids, fashion, food, etc., and focuses on environmental issues, mainly green initiatives within our own company but also broader global topics. I sometimes borrow or steal topics from him although he never reciprocates. Today is one of those days.

This is from Ralf's blog:

Congressmen Henry Waxman and Ed Markey have submitted a draft of the American Clean Energy and Security Act 2009. This bill aims to cut U.S. greenhouse-gas emissions by 83% compared to 2005 levels by 2050. This legislation will be the most important mechanism to avoid a severe climate crisis in the next 30-50 years. Whatever is going to happen in Congress this year will set the tone for the UN climate conference in Copenhagen in December this year, driving responses from China, India and all other countries. You can follow discussions in the Sierra Club life blog named "broken record".

Now back to me:
It's very simple: If you look at the difference between Venus and the Earth, as Al Gore does in his 'Inconvenient Truth' presentation, you will notice that Venus' atmosphere is thick with carbon gas and it's about 855 degress there. If you're thinking Venus is so much hotter because it's closer to the sun than Earth, think again: Venus is three times hotter than Mercury, which is right next to the Sun. It's the carbon gas.
I think 855 degress is a little scarier than a couple of depressed polar bears sitting on melting ice. Of course, we probably won't get that hot. Maybe we'll only hit, like 280 degrees or something like that. And by then the problem will have taken care of itself so no worries.
Oh, and now it turns out that the studies sponsored by oil interests claiming that global warming is controversial were lying outright. I know, it's shocking. No one saw that coming at all.
Anyway, given that the world may be ending, why do I still get distracted by ads for Angelina Jolie's anti-wrinkle secrets? What's the matter with me???
Like, it's such a big secret, anyway. She's what, 33?
Sorry. You were asking what you can do to help that doesn't require much effort on your part and I interrupted you to babble about moisturizing creams.
Here are a couple of petitions you can sign that will be forwarded to your Congresspeople based on your zip code. Mine always get forwarded to California-based democrats with a history of supporting environmental legislation so it probably doesn't help much but if you're in Marsha Blackburn's district I urge you to sign.
Postscript: I'm sure Marsha had everyone's long-term best interests in mind when she tried to imply that Al Gore only wants to save the world just so he can recoup his investments in alternative energy.

Other things you can do, courtesy of http://www.learningfundamentals.com.au/.

April 24, 2009

Makeover

R Max did a full virtual makeover on her blog the other day so I wanted one, too. Why shouldn't I have celebrity hair? I am so worth it!
So I clicked this In Style link and went for it. The results were mixed. . .
Heidi Klum

Jennifer Garner Mischa Barton Madonna

Claire Danes
Ashley Olsen
Gwyneth Paltrow
Beyonce

Kate Hudson (my personal favorite)

Renee Zellweger Kyra Sedgewick

Sandra Bullock

Meg Ryan

Reese Witherspoon

Cameron Diaz Jennifer Anniston

Kate Winslet

15 minutes of fame

As I predicted I made it into the Environmental Defense Fund video - don't blink or you'll miss me. Sadly it's not a very compelling video (except my cameo, of course) but who knows, it could be the start of a big video career for me.





Also there's a quick petition you can sign to remind Congress that these next few weeks matter. This is our chance to either pass legislation that makes a difference or lose our window. All the technology's there to live greener lives with little inconvenience to ourselves, we just need the stakeholders of the old technology to get the heck out of the way.

Legislation is the most effective way to make that happen.

The alternative is to do nothing. And we know how that's gonna end.

Please sign here: http://www.repoweramerica.org/action/earth-day.

Kristina you are excused because I know you are working hard to destroy the earth with lethal humor but everyone else please sign.

April 22, 2009

The sewing machine guy

After my flurry of Easter sewing activities my sewing machine went on strike. No matter what I tried, the string kept breaking immediately when I tried to sew anything and got stuck in the inner workings.

Yesterday I dragged Ralf back to the shop where we bought the machine to get it fixed. As you can imagine, he loved the opportunity to carry a sewing machine four city blocks.

The sewing machine repairman, a young guy in mechanic overalls surrounded by sewing machines in various stages of repair, plugged it in and immediately proceeded to show off all the different stitches my machine is capable of.

His verdict was that I had threaded it wrong.

Ralf's verdict is that next time he's going to marry someone less lame.

My verdict was that they can both bite me.

So that the trip wouldn't be totally wasted, I bought some new bobbins. I pulled my wallet out of my purse to pay and watched in dismay as various decrepit receipts scattered to the four winds. Sighing, I handed the wallet to Ralf while I gathered up all my bits of paper.

Ralf looked like he was thinking something like: 'I can't believe I have children with this person.'

Then he remarked out loud to the sewing machine guy: 'Women's purses are scary as hell.'

'Oh, yeah,' agreed the sewing machine guy with feeling, 'and then if we leave, like, one sock on the floor they totally rip us a new one!'

Alrighty then.

April 21, 2009

The Adventures of Tom, Pin Pin and Suzi

The Maven wanted to know what K got from the tooth fairy. Professional interst. I think that going forward we'll probably dispense Euro coins but for this first tooth we did something special.
Every time we go to Baumarkt (aka German Home Depot) we allow each child to select a Schleich animal figure to take home. Schleich makes great, inexpensive toys that look amazingly real. You can buy them in the US, too, at Target for example, although they don't have quite the selection you get here.
Anyway, L likes farm animals like cows, horses and sheep, while K prefers more exotic animals like penguins and polar bears.
Ralf tells the girls bed time stories at night that he makes up and has recently begun a series of adventures involving a polar bear named Tom, a Penguin named Pin Pin and a Seal named Suzi. So naturally, K had her heart set on buying a seal to complete her collection of bedtime friends.
Then she saw a pink plastic storage container and lost her heart to it so she had to choose between the seal and the box. She finally chose the box amidst a storm of tears while L serenely picked out a dappled foal to add to her collection, 'so the mommy horse wouldn't be lonely any more.' K tried to persuade her to go for the seal but no dice.
When K lost her tooth Ralf snuck back to buy the seal. So now she has all three friends and Ralf told a special story last night to welcome Suzi to the team.
Here is Ralf's story - he makes one up like this every night. I think if either of could draw worth beans we'd be disgustingly rich.

The Adventures of Tom, Pin Pin and Suzi - Chapter 4
In which Tom, Pin Pin and Suzy travel to Africa to help their friend Abu

One day Tom, Pin Pin and Suzy received a message in a bottle from their friend Abu the Zebra in Africa asking for help. Abu had lost his stripes!
This is a very serious thing for a Zebra so the three friends set out for Africa right away. It was a long trip but they wanted to help their friend.
When they got there they found that Abu had indeed lost his stripes and was all white. He was very sad because the other zebras didn’t treat him the same any more without his stripes, as if he were no longer one of the herd. He wasn’t even allowed to bathe in the watering hole any more with his friends even though it was so hot.
The four friends greeted each other warmly and sat down in the cool shade of a tree to consult while a giraffe munched gently overhead. Tom, a very clever ice bear, took the lead.
‘When did you lose your stripes?’ asked Tom.
Abu didn’t need to think before answering. ‘The first Tuesday last June.’
Tom nodded and asked, ‘Did anything unusual happen on that day?’
Abu shook his head sadly. ‘Not really. The baker came through like he always does on Tuesday but I can’t see how that would have anything to do with my stripes.’
‘Me neither,’ said Pin Pin.
‘Nor me,’ said Suzy.
Tom was still thinking, his head in his paws. ‘Wait. . . don’t say anything. . . yes!’ He looked at his friends. ‘I know what this reminds me of. It reminds me of my uncle Tim when he was a cub. One day he was out playing and he got very dirty. When his mother called him in for lunch he couldn’t get the dirt off his fur so he covered himself with white snow so he’d look clean.’
‘But there’s no snow here,’ protested Suzy.
‘But what if the baker dropped a back of flour?’ said Tom. ‘Flour is white.’
‘Wouldn’t the flour wash away?’ asked Pin Pin.
‘No!’ cried Abu excitedly. ‘It hasn’t rained in months! And I’m not allowed in the watering hole anymore.’
‘That’s terrible!’ cried Pin Pin. ‘You’re still a zebra, with or without stripes.’
Tom stood up to his full height, which was quite impressive, and growled, ‘Come with me.’
He walked right up to the watering hole with Abu, Suzy and Pin Pin following close behind and spoke softly but in a carrying voice. ‘Abu, would you do me the favor or going into the watering hole now?’ Casually he examined one of his extremely sharp claws and polished it on his fur. The other animals moved quickly out of the way so Abu could go in the water.
Sure enough, a nervous white zebra went into the water but a striped zebra came out!
All the zebras cheered and were delighted that Abu had found his stripes again and apologized for their unkindness. Abu immediately forgave his friends but Tom reminded them sternly, ‘Being a zebra means more than just having stripes. It’s about being part of a herd. And being true to your friends, with or without stripes.’
‘Yes!’ agreed all the zebras. ‘We won’t forget.’
‘Thank you, Tom, Pin Pin and Suzy!’ said Abu gratefully. ‘You really helped me. You're true friends.’
‘You’re very welcome, Abu,’ said Tom kindly. ‘But if you don’t mind we’ll head home now. It’s much too hot here!’
Everyone laughed and the three friends started the long journey home again.
Guess we'll be buying a zebra next. . .

April 20, 2009

Mango Chicken Salad

I made this last night to counteract a fairly big hangover after a night of margueritas at our favorite Mexican restaurant in Munich, Tijuana Cafe. Let's just say I needed something fresh and citricy.
It's pretty easy. The salad is just:
A bunch of leafy greens like Feld Salad, which kind of looks like Cress.
Grilled chicken with a bit of salt to season.
Fresh mango pieces.
I recommend organic ingredients.
The mango dressing is a bit more complex but you don't have to puree or anything, just pour and mix:
3 spoons plain yogurt
Dash of cream
1 tbs mango chutney
1 tsp curry powder
2 tbs OJ
1 tbs lemon juice
2 tbs sherry vinegar, or 1 tbs apple vinegar and 1 tsp sherry
1 diced red chili
a dash or two of ginger (fresh is best but I never bother)
1 tbs sesame oil
2 tbs peanut oil
optional: 1/4 onion, diced small
Now taste it and add anything you think it still needs, like salt or maybe a dash of sugar.
You can also buy mango dressing at TJs but fresh is better.

April 18, 2009

Growing up

We were already the darlings of the small standing restaurant in the Baumarkt, which is the German version of Home Depot. I had ordered a half chicken with fries, a soft pretzel and a sparkling apple juice to be shared by the entire family and we all huddled over the plate fighting over choice bits of chicken and getting ketchup everywhere while the kids reminded us loudly that they wanted ice cream for dessert.
Suddenly K went ridged and hollered: 'MOMMY! MY TOOTH CAME OUT!!!'
And sure enough, there was my baby's tooth in her hand.
Side comment: In winter this outburst would have attracted many disapproving, constipated looks but as it happens, the Germans lighten up a LOT in spring and a few stern faces looked like they were trying hard not to smile as K ran around showing her beautiful bloody tooth stump to the other diners.
L, only 3 years old with a full head of teeth, was not to be outdone: 'MOMMY! I HAVE TO GO TO THE TOIIIIIIIIIILETTTTTTTTTTTT!!!'
K was congratulated, L was whisked off to the little girls' room with a swish of displaced air, the chicken was picked clean and we returned trimphantly home with dry britches, new shelving, the entire family fed for 10 euros and my baby girl growing up way to fast.

April 16, 2009

Ma Roller

After sharing too much information the other day that was of no use to anyone, I want to make up for it today with some information that is actually useful.


I have one of these. It is called a Ma Roller and can be purchased in yoga stores or online. It is marketed as 'the Tool that gives you Very Deep Relaxation,' which strikes me as a slightly unfortunate word choice, but it really works.


Basically you lie on it and the wooden bulbs on each side of the dip push into your back on each side of your spine, using your own weight to apply gentle pressure.

It's wonderful. Totally cutting edge yet also ancient Chinese.

April 12, 2009

TMI

I have a teeny confession to make. Yes, I was an unrecognizable domestic goddess last week but I neglected to mention that Germany has a 4-day Easter holiday. I hope you can still respect me. Now it's back to work and there will be no sewing, baking or cleaning of any kind for a while.

One last heartwarming Easter story before we move on to new topics. On Easter Sunday we took the kids to Wildpark Poing, which is an amazing animal park with petting zoos, play grounds, real bears and majestic peacocks that walk around everywhere. Like that one.

We ran into some Russian friends of ours and I was able to use the one Russian phrase I still remember from colleage: Prevyet - kak dela?

(Hi, how are you?)

Cool, huh? Practice it on your Russian friends, it is guaranteed to bring on a torrent of Slavik gibberish and maybe a flask of vodka.

Later we ran into a German family we know from Kindergarten and hung with them for the rest of the morning. The mom is a nice but harassed woman with three kids. We occassionally have a playdate but don't seem to have much to talk about. Possibly my effortless mothering annoys her.

As we were meandering she confided in me that she's been worried about Patrick, who has been deliberately scratching himself hard enough to draw blood lately.

Side note: Traditional German names like Hans, Peter, Dieter, Kai-Uwe, Michaela, Petra and Elke don't exist any more, everyone's Daniel or Patrick or Leia or Selena these days.

Anyway, I sensed an opportunity to be of use with my excellent advice and do some mommy bonding.

Me: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, I did the exact same thing when I was a kid. I would scratch myself as hard as I could, sometimes with a knife or a protractor, just to freak out the other kids. And we used to rub the skin off the back of our hands with erasers in school. Mainly initials. It drove the teachers crazy. But I eventually stopped doing stuff like that and (comfortingly) most of the scars are gone now or at least faded. Well, you can still see the 'D' on my left hand but you have to really look for it. I'm sure it's just a totally normal phase.

Her (after a slight awkward pause used to put a little more distance between us): I'm glad you were able to get past... er, that. But I was actually thinking that Patrick's allergic to something.

Me: Oh. . . right. Yeah. That's probably it. Um, pretzel anyone?

A good week to be (my) kids

With the onslaught of Spring I felt invigorated and threw myself in to Easter preparations with a vengeance:

I baked oat chocolate chip cookies.

I sewed new spring pillow cases for the girls.

I packed away all the drab old winter clothes and brought out all the pretty new summer stuff I bought on sale at Land's End last year - they have fabulous sales on kids' stuff and the quality is great so I always buy a size too big a year early.

I tracked down the California Baby sun screen I brought back with us when we moved.

I bought Easter dresses at Target (while visiting California, not here in the Teutonic Target free zone).

I finished the bead necklace I was making for Ralf's mom and another one for me.

I made a bracelet for K.

I prepared Easter baskets.

I provisioned for and prepared an Easter brunch with friends.

I procured enough Easter goodies for an official Easter egg hunt (fortunately, unlike Natalian, no monkeys swoop down into our garden to steal them).

And finally, I baked a strawberry rubarb pie using the first pie crust and filling recipes I found in the Internet.

Ralf said I missed my calling as the wife of a small town sheriff and asked for some stale coffee to go with the pie. But he ate every crumb and his dad also polished off two generous slices.

Clearly, my pie ruled.

Hopefully this is the week my children will choose to remember.

Next week stay tuned for less domestic me.

April 11, 2009

Sun Kissed

I grew up in Los Angeles and Arizona, where the seasonal changes are less apparent than in, say, in Maine or Vermont. I mean, it gets hotter in summer and colder in winter and that's about it. Perhaps because of this I have always felt myself spritually drawn to the vivid reds and golds of Autumn.
However, after a long, cold, dreary German winter I find myself deeply appreciating the warm spring sun and gentle spring breezes as I never have before. When I rode my bike to pick up my kids the other day from a friend's house I felt positively sun kissed. It was like I could breath in the spring air and sunshine through my skin.
It was a perfect moment of physical existence. I marveled at how each tree looked ready to burst with life and wanted to stop and look at each quivering bud.
As I approached home with my kids a gaggle of pre-teen girls crossed my path, clucking and chirping to each other and eating ice cream cones. On this gorgeous day, although my spring years are past and I'm well into late summer, I didn't envy them their plump skin and slender legs.
No. In my newfound wisdom and gratitude I saw past all that to their true divine nature and future potential.
As babysitters.
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