I'm heads down in Phase III today but I know you're all dying to find out what happened with Celia, Leia and Tara the Athiest.
For the full backstory read these blogs in this order:
Choosing My Religion
What will we do?
The Plot Thickens
Current situation: After much discussion and weighing of pros and cons, we were able to form an enrollment coalition with Celia and Leia. Celia is and will remain Catholic but Leia has renounced being Protestant in order to have classes with K.
I’m guessing we got Tina the (not necessarily) Aethiest, too, but this has not yet been confirmed. I hope she doesn't end up in Protestant studies all by herself but life is hard.
Final note: Since we are trying to raise our children to be ethical rather than religious they will probably at some point decide to become nuns, which I wouldn't mind so much except I hate to think of them in the nun blowing machine.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
April 2, 2009
March 28, 2009
On Concerts and Original Sin
Ralf has been home since Thursday and Thursday night we went to a concert. It was fun although the hall was totally packed and at 5’8’’ I’m one of the shortest people in Germany. I occasionally meet someone shorter than me but they always turn out to be half French. Mind you, being short was a huge advantage on the German dating scene before I got married but kind of a bummer at a standing concert. So I didn’t see much peering out from behind everyone’s elbows and the guy right in front of me was unfortunately wearing a wool sweater and smelled like a moist sheep but the sound was good.
Domestically Disabled Girl recently posted about trying to figure out meaning and God’s plan for us. It was a good, honest post and some of the comments are worth reading as well, especially mine.
My take on God’s plan and free will for those of you who may be interested:
The chaotic, impermanent nature of the universe ensures that things will happen to us, some good, some bad. We may be able to influence some of these things but we don’t control the changing nature of the universe and we can’t see into the future so the best we can hope for is to delay the inevitable.
Domestically Disabled Girl recently posted about trying to figure out meaning and God’s plan for us. It was a good, honest post and some of the comments are worth reading as well, especially mine.
My take on God’s plan and free will for those of you who may be interested:
The chaotic, impermanent nature of the universe ensures that things will happen to us, some good, some bad. We may be able to influence some of these things but we don’t control the changing nature of the universe and we can’t see into the future so the best we can hope for is to delay the inevitable.
Free will comes into play when we decide how we will respond to things that happen. For example:
When bad things happen, will we grow, evolve and become better people or will we retreat into bitterness, fear and regret?
When good things happen will we become more vain, cocky and clingy or will we filled with humble wonder and gratitude that something like this could happen to us and want to share our good fortune?
When good things happen will we become more vain, cocky and clingy or will we filled with humble wonder and gratitude that something like this could happen to us and want to share our good fortune?
That, my friends, is what we control. Nothing else.
Unfortunately there’s a catch – the cards are stacked against us. The human mind has limited perception and craves material things. And not only that, we are also programmed to seek stability and permanence in an unstable and impermanent universe. In other words, our neural wiring makes us dissatisfied and suspicious of what's around the corner.
(Bit of a crap design, really. Kind of like Blackberries: Your goal is to make a call but we’re going to make it really, really hard for you.)
(Bit of a crap design, really. Kind of like Blackberries: Your goal is to make a call but we’re going to make it really, really hard for you.)
I believe our work here is to try to rise above our humble beginnings and (remember, I design software) exceed the parameters of our design. Not that I'm working very hard on this in my own case but I do keep making mental notes to get started.
Now here's the interesting bit: there has never been anyone who has not committed at least one of the seven deadly sins (you know, greed, lust, something, something, envy, gluttony, something) because having a needy physical form combined with a primitive, unruly brain doesn't give you any choice. So in a way, just having a physical form is a sin.
Which could mean that Adam, not Eve, carried the original sin because he had the first human form.
Heady stuff, huh? Maybe they’ll let women be priests now.
Anyway.
To borrow an idea from the late great Isaac Asimov, I sometimes picture a scientist watching a petri dish to see if mankind is one of those parasites that thoughtlessly destroys its host and itself in the bargain or else can turn into one of those good bacteria that help the entire organism.
We are the means by which the universe seeks consciousness. And if we fail I believe that God will be bummed, like any creator whose experiment failed, but will not queer the experiment by influencing the outcome.
Thanks for all the great advice. We will definitely be signing K up for Ethics next year. With me as her homework buddy she'd probably fail religious studies.
March 26, 2009
The plot thickens...
If you haven't been following the story so far I recommend reading the previous two posts.Plot summary: We have to pick a religious track for K's school next year. The hitch is that she gets to pick 2 friends to stay with and they have to be either Catholic or Athiest/other because the Protestants will be in a different class. We will probably sign her up for Ethics class rather than Catholic or Protestant studies but it's not so simple. . .
A final note: I've been using the word 'Athiest' but the better word choice would probably be 'Other' since that's the choice offered to anyone who is not Catholic or Protestant.
Now that that's cleared up, the plot thickens. If we were all just a little prettier and sluttier this could be an episode of Desperate Housewives. . .
I got TWO more calls yesterday.
The first was from Tina's mom. Remember Tina the Athiest? Well, it turns out not so much.
At first I thought she wanted to lock in the K, Celia and Tina trio for the Ethics track but no - she was calling to let me know that Tina really wants to be with Celia but not K. Little Tina prefers another little girl who is Protestant so Tina's mom is also considering Protestant studies.
It suddenly occurred to me: OMG, she's warning me off!!
I heard her out and refrained from mentioning that Celia's mom had called me and no mention had been made of the formerly athiest Tina.
Later Leia's mom called. You may recall Leia as the Protestant girl whose religious affiliation has been causing all the trouble (unless, or course, you take the viewpoint that we are causing it with our heathen ways).
I found Leia's mom extremely pleasant and felt sad that we might have to separate K from Leia. They aren't very religious, either, but after much discussion thought Protestant studies would be a rounding experience for Leia. The hitch is that Leia really, really wants to be with K and the feeling is mutual.
Anyway, Leia's mom was torn by the idea of ethics v. Protestant studies. Leia's dad was less torn - in the background I could hear him yelling, 'My God, just sign her up for ethics and be done with it!'
I still want K to do Ethics, mainly because I'll have to help her with homework and I don't think I'm up to explaining the Bible. The question is, can we persuade Leia's parents to join with us?
And is it ethical to do so?
Spiritual and social fates may hang in the balance. . .
March 25, 2009
What will we do?
What indeed?
Yesterday we learned that German school kids are separated by religion. And not the interesting religions, either. You have to choose between Catholic (yawn), Protestant (really just watered-down Catholics) and Athiest.
Actually, the Athiest kids get to study ethics, which sounds kind of cool.
The kids aren't totally segregated - basically, there are two groups of Catholic kids that share learning space with either Athiests or Protestants, which we can either regard as a practical recognition that most kids happen to be Catholic or as a Catholic infiltration (since the Athiests and Protestants rarely come into contact with each other).
Supposedly in urban areas with a higher concentration of other religions they offer additional classes. Just not out here in the Catholic burbs.
What will we do? you ask.
Ralf and I discussed it during his brief stopover home between California and Ireland.
First of all, he thinks religious studies are cool and we should all be more informed about different religions because this is such an important topic for so many people.
Fair point.
And who knows, maybe if more people treated religion like an academic topic rather than a purely spiritual one, they would be less likely to elect socially intolerant fiscally irresponsible environment ravaging Republican war mongers just because the church likes their stance on gay marriage.
(I know, it's hard to get a sense of how I feel about things.)
Next I pointed out that there aren't many hours in the absurdly short German school day and I'd prefer our kids to spend that time on reading, writing, math and science and he said why don't I run for Minister of Education.
I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm, which is part of the German marital benefits package.
But then, when I broached the topic of possibly enrolling K in Protestant studies to be with Leia, he got all huffy, like putting kids into religious groups at school was my crazy idea.
Ralf (bristling with indignation): 'Are you kidding me? We're not signing K up for some religion we have nothing to do with just so she can be with some kid she probably won't even like next year!'
No argument from me. I mean, OK, I did make some snarky comments about how I'm not the German here but we were basically in agreement by this point.
Anyway, the upshot is that we'll be going with Ethical (Athiest) studies next year and it remains to be seen if Celia's Catholic mom will throw her lot in with Leia (who is Protestant) or with us.
And Tina the Athiest.
Yesterday we learned that German school kids are separated by religion. And not the interesting religions, either. You have to choose between Catholic (yawn), Protestant (really just watered-down Catholics) and Athiest.
Actually, the Athiest kids get to study ethics, which sounds kind of cool.
The kids aren't totally segregated - basically, there are two groups of Catholic kids that share learning space with either Athiests or Protestants, which we can either regard as a practical recognition that most kids happen to be Catholic or as a Catholic infiltration (since the Athiests and Protestants rarely come into contact with each other).
Supposedly in urban areas with a higher concentration of other religions they offer additional classes. Just not out here in the Catholic burbs.
What will we do? you ask.
Ralf and I discussed it during his brief stopover home between California and Ireland.
First of all, he thinks religious studies are cool and we should all be more informed about different religions because this is such an important topic for so many people.
Fair point.
And who knows, maybe if more people treated religion like an academic topic rather than a purely spiritual one, they would be less likely to elect socially intolerant fiscally irresponsible environment ravaging Republican war mongers just because the church likes their stance on gay marriage.
(I know, it's hard to get a sense of how I feel about things.)
Next I pointed out that there aren't many hours in the absurdly short German school day and I'd prefer our kids to spend that time on reading, writing, math and science and he said why don't I run for Minister of Education.
I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm, which is part of the German marital benefits package.
But then, when I broached the topic of possibly enrolling K in Protestant studies to be with Leia, he got all huffy, like putting kids into religious groups at school was my crazy idea.
Ralf (bristling with indignation): 'Are you kidding me? We're not signing K up for some religion we have nothing to do with just so she can be with some kid she probably won't even like next year!'
No argument from me. I mean, OK, I did make some snarky comments about how I'm not the German here but we were basically in agreement by this point.
Anyway, the upshot is that we'll be going with Ethical (Athiest) studies next year and it remains to be seen if Celia's Catholic mom will throw her lot in with Leia (who is Protestant) or with us.
And Tina the Athiest.
March 24, 2009
Choosing my religion
The phone rings. It’s Celia’s mom – Celia’s a 5-year-old girl in K’s class.She wants to know what religion I plan to select on K’s school registration.
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Celia’s mom: ‘Well, you know that when you register for school each child can choose to be in the same class with 2 other kids but they split up the kids based on religion.’
I did not know this.
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Celia’s mom (patiently - she's quite nice, really): ‘They split the kids up based on whether they’re Catholic, Protestant or Aethiest.’
Me: ‘Excuse me?’
Celia’s mom (after a pause): ‘Would you prefer to speak English?’
Me: ‘No, you just surprised me.' And this conversation would be even weirder in English. 'Er. . . did you just say that the kids are split up into religious groups? In school?’
Celia’s mom: ‘Yes.' I can sense her nodding over the phone. 'Most of the kids are Catholic so there’s one group of Catholics and Protestants and one with Catholics and Athiests.’
A little background on this: Although German grade school is typically over by lunchtime, which creates enormous problems for working parents, they spend an hour of this precious time on religious studies.
Celia’s mom: ‘Anyway, Celia wants to be with K and Leia but Leia’s Protestant.’
I’m briefly tempted to say we’re Jewish or Muslim but control myself. Shut up, you're not funny, I tell myself sternly.
Me: ‘We're probably Aethiest. We don’t really go to church. I think my husband might be Protestant, though. I’ll ask him when he gets back.’
Celia’s mom: ‘Or we could go with Tina. She's also Athiest.’
I try to picture the athiest Tina.
Me: ‘Um. . . yeah. Sure. Tina would be good.’
Celia’s mom: ‘Let’s touch base over the weekend.’
Me: ‘Absolutely. Let’s do that.’
February 13, 2009
Eat, Pray, Love
Still here, still no coffee, still sucks.But tomorrow morning the embargo will be lifted! Five days exactly. And I'm no expert but my gums show promising signs of healing. . .
But anyway, without coffee I'm not in any real shape to take on the world this morning so I'm going to let Elizabeth Gilbert do it for me.
I hope all of you have read the book Eat, Pray, Love. If not you should. You just should. You may not like everything about it but it's a funny, wise book.
Even Ralf liked it!
It's about a female journalist who reaches a crossroads in her life when she realizes she's more excited about writing a story about a baby squid than she is about having kids with her husband. A messy divorce follows and after some wallowing she decides to travel the world and write a book. She goes to Rome to learn how to enjoy life, India to learn spirituality and Indonesia to explore love. And brings us all along on her hilarious vision quest.
I don't have a picture of Elizabeth Gilbert so I posted one of myself instead from a few years ago, before I could aford a decent hair cut, deep in thought about what to do with my life and thoughtlessly destroying the Earth one plastic water bottle at a time.
It also represents my current coffeeless state and how I feel about it.
Read the book. I think it will make you happy.
I've you've already read it and liked it, or if you are an aspiring writer, you may also enjoy Elizabeth Gilbert's TEDTalk. TED is an association that brings together the greatest thinkers and achievers of our time to speak to any topic for 20 minutes. They have lots of good talks.
I couldn't figure out how to embed this so just follow the link and enjoy!
Your coffee deprived servant,
honeypiehorse
January 18, 2009
Conversations with Boobies, Part II
For those of you who missed the original Conversations with Boobies, click here.Here are a couple of new Boobie conversations:
K: I believe in God.
me: Um. OK. Lots of people do.
K: What does God do for people who believe in him?
me: Er. . . nothing, really.
K: Why doesn't he do anything for them?
me: Well, maybe He wants people to help themselves.
K: What does he to do to people who don't believe in him?
me: I think He makes their children ask about Him all the time.
Pause.
K: That's not bad.
She has a point. It definitely beats a plague of locusts.
-------------------------------------------------------------
L: Mommy, what are you doing?me (busily blogging): I'm working, darling.
L: That's not work!!!
--------------------------------------------------------
K: Mommy, how does a baby get into a mommy's tummy?
me (awkwardly): Well, darling, when the mommy and papa love each other the papa gives the mommy some genetic material so she can grow the baby in her tummy.
Blank stare. I suck. I try again.
me: Um, the man gives the woman a piece of himself.
K (always quick to spot the weak point in an argument): Then how does a man cow put a baby cow in a girl cow's tummy? He doesn't have any hands so he can't give her a piece of himself.
me: Great point, darling. Um. . . why don't we circle back on this one in about (glancing at my watch) 5 years?
January 11, 2009
Bailing the boat
Yesterday got off to a rough start. Ralf is away on a business trip and I miss him. The kids are skiing with their grandparents and I miss them. There were no distractions. I could clean, shop, sew, cook, organize, get ready for taxes, stalk friends on Facebook, meditate, sleep, read something good, read my next book club book, surf the Internet, get ahead on some design work, have another cup of coffee, eat chocolate, book my February flight to the US, do laundry, sort stuff in the attic, go to the gym. . . but I didn’t feel like doing any of these things.
Things are broken. They always break (chaos is the second law of thermodynamics, after all) but Ralf usually fixes them. The front panel on my underwear drawer is hanging off and probably needs to be glued back on with Superglue, which Ralf hides from me. The brand new DVD player ate my dvd so I couldn’t watch Eureka last night – it’s a high-tech DVD recorder that apparently sulks if you turn if off. And the new top-of-the-line heating unit we installed in our attic went completely insane three times last night and shook the whole house with loud hammering noises.
I worry sometimes that I could never live alone. I can cook, clean, shop, blog, read, write, pay bills, sort food by order of expiration, give my kids space to find (some of) their own answers, speak to large audiences comfortably and design personal management software. These are my humble life skills so naturally I wonder how long it would take for my entire house to fall down around me if I lived alone. I would definitely need a lot of friends with husbands to take up the slack.
OK, that came out really wrong but you know what I mean. I’m talking about stuff like installing DSL, right?
My dearth of useful skills isn’t the only thing that worries me. The environment worries me. I’m a mom so I force myself to keep track of what Al Gore is doing, sign a petition or write to my congressperson when he requests it and have even made some key lifestyle changes. I do my little bit but it’s not enough. On the other hand, I’ve been worried about the environment for long so long that I’m pretty used to it, kind of like the constant, low-grade fear in my tummy I had when I was 8 and thought the Russians would nuke us.
They still might but no one worries about it any more because we have bigger problems. How scary is that?
On a positive note, Obama gets it but he’s chosen to fight with subsidies rather than penalties and this may not be effective enough. It may even drive up the price of clean technologies for the rest of the world. But what can he do? Penalize companies for poor planning and irresponsible world citizenship that are already laying more than half a million people off?
That’s the next thing bringing me down lately, the news that US unemployment is over 7% (which is almost 1 in 10 people). This will impact other countries as well and right now parents just like me are wondering if they can keep their houses and feed their kids. As a parent I can’t imagine too many more things more frightening than that.
Except... being in the Middle East, that’s probably worse. I've been thinking that the 10 Commandments aren’t a bad start but we clearly need a few more, like:
Thou shalt not assume that everyone who doesn’t like you or criticizes your actions also hates your entire race.
I would also recommend:
Thou shalt not hide weapons or bad guys in hospitals, schools or residential areas.
Bastards. But then, I suppose this is why I’m not a military strategist.
And finally:
Thou shalt not kill in the name of religion.
You might think ‘Thou Shalt not Kill’ would automatically cover this one but religious killers always seem to assume there’s some special dispensation for killing in the name of religion so I would add this, at least as a footnote. Notice they took this approach with coveting, i.e., you shouldn’t covet anything belonging to your neighbor AND you shouldn’t covet your neighbor’s wife, but I guess sleeping with your neighbor’s wife is a worse sin than killing someone so they wanted to make it idiot proof.
ANYway, as I was saying before I took a short detour to improve the 10 Commandments (you’re welcome, by the way), yesterday all this stuff was bubbling up and bringing me down. So, instead of working or cleaning my house, I took action and spent a half hour meditating.
Seriously. We’ve all seen what can happen when we're in a good mood and smile at everyone we meet. Almost magically, people are friendly (except, of course, in Germany) and no problem is insurmountable. Well, the reverse is also true. Negative emotions like fear, sadness, anger are contagious and lately it feels like there’s too much of them around and the world is out of balance. It’s like we’ve been living on credit for too long and the bill just arrived, only it’s not a bill any more, it’s a delinquent notice.
Things are broken. They always break (chaos is the second law of thermodynamics, after all) but Ralf usually fixes them. The front panel on my underwear drawer is hanging off and probably needs to be glued back on with Superglue, which Ralf hides from me. The brand new DVD player ate my dvd so I couldn’t watch Eureka last night – it’s a high-tech DVD recorder that apparently sulks if you turn if off. And the new top-of-the-line heating unit we installed in our attic went completely insane three times last night and shook the whole house with loud hammering noises.
I worry sometimes that I could never live alone. I can cook, clean, shop, blog, read, write, pay bills, sort food by order of expiration, give my kids space to find (some of) their own answers, speak to large audiences comfortably and design personal management software. These are my humble life skills so naturally I wonder how long it would take for my entire house to fall down around me if I lived alone. I would definitely need a lot of friends with husbands to take up the slack.
OK, that came out really wrong but you know what I mean. I’m talking about stuff like installing DSL, right?
My dearth of useful skills isn’t the only thing that worries me. The environment worries me. I’m a mom so I force myself to keep track of what Al Gore is doing, sign a petition or write to my congressperson when he requests it and have even made some key lifestyle changes. I do my little bit but it’s not enough. On the other hand, I’ve been worried about the environment for long so long that I’m pretty used to it, kind of like the constant, low-grade fear in my tummy I had when I was 8 and thought the Russians would nuke us.
They still might but no one worries about it any more because we have bigger problems. How scary is that?
On a positive note, Obama gets it but he’s chosen to fight with subsidies rather than penalties and this may not be effective enough. It may even drive up the price of clean technologies for the rest of the world. But what can he do? Penalize companies for poor planning and irresponsible world citizenship that are already laying more than half a million people off?
That’s the next thing bringing me down lately, the news that US unemployment is over 7% (which is almost 1 in 10 people). This will impact other countries as well and right now parents just like me are wondering if they can keep their houses and feed their kids. As a parent I can’t imagine too many more things more frightening than that.
Except... being in the Middle East, that’s probably worse. I've been thinking that the 10 Commandments aren’t a bad start but we clearly need a few more, like:
Thou shalt not assume that everyone who doesn’t like you or criticizes your actions also hates your entire race.
I would also recommend:
Thou shalt not hide weapons or bad guys in hospitals, schools or residential areas.
Bastards. But then, I suppose this is why I’m not a military strategist.
And finally:
Thou shalt not kill in the name of religion.
You might think ‘Thou Shalt not Kill’ would automatically cover this one but religious killers always seem to assume there’s some special dispensation for killing in the name of religion so I would add this, at least as a footnote. Notice they took this approach with coveting, i.e., you shouldn’t covet anything belonging to your neighbor AND you shouldn’t covet your neighbor’s wife, but I guess sleeping with your neighbor’s wife is a worse sin than killing someone so they wanted to make it idiot proof.
ANYway, as I was saying before I took a short detour to improve the 10 Commandments (you’re welcome, by the way), yesterday all this stuff was bubbling up and bringing me down. So, instead of working or cleaning my house, I took action and spent a half hour meditating.
Seriously. We’ve all seen what can happen when we're in a good mood and smile at everyone we meet. Almost magically, people are friendly (except, of course, in Germany) and no problem is insurmountable. Well, the reverse is also true. Negative emotions like fear, sadness, anger are contagious and lately it feels like there’s too much of them around and the world is out of balance. It’s like we’ve been living on credit for too long and the bill just arrived, only it’s not a bill any more, it’s a delinquent notice.
Meditation can help bring negative emotions back into perspective.
So that's what I did and I felt better afterwards, like I had finally got around to bailing a very leaky boat, and got dressed to hit the gym and go shopping. And while I was doing these things I saw two other things that cheered me up no end.
In my next post I will write about these happy things.
So that's what I did and I felt better afterwards, like I had finally got around to bailing a very leaky boat, and got dressed to hit the gym and go shopping. And while I was doing these things I saw two other things that cheered me up no end.
In my next post I will write about these happy things.
January 9, 2009
Updating my Blogroll
First a quick update from Munich: I’m still here and it’s still winter. Can you believe it, it’s already been winter for days and still no end in sight. This morning was -12 C, which I consider fairly chilly. And since we have a big sofa in the middle of our garage that we’re trying to sell I have to park outside. And scrape. Ice. I’m officially giving Ralf another week to get rid of the sofa (after he gets back, of course) and then I’m going in with the axe. Meanwhile the cat has been protesting Ralf’s absence by doing extra smelly things in his litter box. The phrase ‘courtesy burial’ apparently means nothing to him.
Meanwhile out in Blogland I’ve been reading so much great, funny and sometimes tragic stuff lately that it’s hard to decide where to start each day, let alone single anyone out. Nonetheless, today I want to update my Blogroll (down there on the right) with a couple of blogs I’ve been following recently that make laugh out loud:
R Max, a very funny mom from New Zealand.
And Kristina P, who is funny and evil, origins unknown. Actually we’re still debating whether she is evil or not but she is definitely funny.
According to their blog bling, they are both Morman Mommy Bloggers. What are the odds?
Pretty high, actually. Over the course of my extensive religious research, I have concluded that in addition to starting relatively few religious wars (compared to the rest of us, I mean), Mormons also have a better sense of humor than people of other religions.
Let me clarify this, because I’m afraid it came out all wrong and I certainly don’t want to offend any of you non-Mormons that have comedic aspirations: The odd Jewish or Catholic person may well be funnier than a randomly selected Mormon but I’m talking averages here.
In fact there is even a Mormon website dedicated to humor. On this site I re-discovered that wonderful history of everything compiled from student essays. This is important historical information.
A few choice quotes with my comments:
"The Bible is full of interesting caricatures."
"The Bible is full of interesting caricatures."
me: Isn’t it just?
"Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients."
"Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients."
me: This is actually not a bad way of describing Matzo bread.
"Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him.
"Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him.
me: Let this be a wakeup call for all of us."
"Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
"Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
me: This is the literal truth.
"There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing."
me: And it just goes to show that the less we know about our neighbors, the less we want to kill them.
Anyway, thanks R Max and Kristina and the rest you whom I didn't mention but am stalking for making my day.
January 7, 2009
Where did THAT come from?
God works in mysterious ways. He didn’t strike me with lightning for my recent posting (which was somewhat critical of Him) but he did apparently have a conversation with my kids because when they got home from their grandparents’ yesterday they immediately asked me to show them a picture of Jesus on the cross.
This is a topic that has never been mentioned by me to them, unless they’ve been reading my blog. . . so I was caught a little off guard.
However, I’m a mom and religion is part of the territory so I took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘Why do you want to see that picture? It’s not a very happy picture. Wouldn’t you rather see a picture of Jesus as a baby in the manger instead?’
As an extra incentive I added, ‘With all the cows and donkeys?’ But nothing doing, they wanted Jesus on the cross.
So out came the Young Reader’s Bible I’ve been hiding and blogging about and we looked at the picture together, thankfully toned down for young readers.
K wanted to know: ‘Mama, who’s God?’
I took a page out of Meg's book. ‘Well, darling, some people believe he’s the king of angels and Jesus’ papa.’ This answer was accepted.
Then she wanted to know: ‘Mama, do you know why they hung Jesus on the cross?’
Ah. First why question. Much tougher than who questions. ‘Er. . . because they were mean people?’ I hazarded lamely.
‘No, Mama. It’s because he wasn’t the right Jesus. He was a fake Jesus.’
I could feel my lips moving as I stared at her, silently mouthing, ‘Fake Jesus.’
Where did that come from? I’d like to say I made some great answer to this that K will someday tell her own kids but what actually came out of my mouth was, ‘That’s interesting, darling, are you hungry?’
K wasn’t hungry. She wanted to talk about fake Jesus. I was just gearing up to say that even if he was fake, it was pretty mean to hang him on a cross when I was saved by the phone.
‘Thank God!’ I muttered, then remembered my recent posting and looked upwards a bit guiltily.
K wanted to answer the phone so I let her, figuring whoever it was could chat with my 5-year-old for a few minutes. And get her off topic.
Then I got my next surprise: The call was for her! It was her 6-year-old friend from next door calling to ask if she could come over and play. They had a short conversation to work out the logistics and signed off with a casual, ‘Tschuss, bis bald!’
So…. when did K get so big that we’re discussing religion and she gets more calls than I do???
This is a topic that has never been mentioned by me to them, unless they’ve been reading my blog. . . so I was caught a little off guard.
However, I’m a mom and religion is part of the territory so I took a deep breath and plunged in. ‘Why do you want to see that picture? It’s not a very happy picture. Wouldn’t you rather see a picture of Jesus as a baby in the manger instead?’
As an extra incentive I added, ‘With all the cows and donkeys?’ But nothing doing, they wanted Jesus on the cross.
So out came the Young Reader’s Bible I’ve been hiding and blogging about and we looked at the picture together, thankfully toned down for young readers.
K wanted to know: ‘Mama, who’s God?’
I took a page out of Meg's book. ‘Well, darling, some people believe he’s the king of angels and Jesus’ papa.’ This answer was accepted.
Then she wanted to know: ‘Mama, do you know why they hung Jesus on the cross?’
Ah. First why question. Much tougher than who questions. ‘Er. . . because they were mean people?’ I hazarded lamely.
‘No, Mama. It’s because he wasn’t the right Jesus. He was a fake Jesus.’
I could feel my lips moving as I stared at her, silently mouthing, ‘Fake Jesus.’
Where did that come from? I’d like to say I made some great answer to this that K will someday tell her own kids but what actually came out of my mouth was, ‘That’s interesting, darling, are you hungry?’
K wasn’t hungry. She wanted to talk about fake Jesus. I was just gearing up to say that even if he was fake, it was pretty mean to hang him on a cross when I was saved by the phone.
‘Thank God!’ I muttered, then remembered my recent posting and looked upwards a bit guiltily.
K wanted to answer the phone so I let her, figuring whoever it was could chat with my 5-year-old for a few minutes. And get her off topic.
Then I got my next surprise: The call was for her! It was her 6-year-old friend from next door calling to ask if she could come over and play. They had a short conversation to work out the logistics and signed off with a casual, ‘Tschuss, bis bald!’
So…. when did K get so big that we’re discussing religion and she gets more calls than I do???
January 5, 2009
People and Deities Behaving Badly
Ralf has been grumbling that I've digressed from writing interesting - albeit ignorant and misguided - social commentary to ‘Poor me, I’m so sick’ postings punctuated by German doctor bashing. So in recognition of his support for this essential social service I provide, today's challenge is to try to get my groove back.
Since I don't want to offend anyone, I thought I'd take on a nice, safe topic like Christianity.
Me and Christianity go way back. My grandmother, a Presbyterian minister’s wife, used to read me Bible stories by the hour. She got a lot of babysitting mileage out of the Holy Book - not only is it chock full of short, action-packed stories, you can also make a game out of reciting the chapters: ‘Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1st and 2nd Samuel. . . ‘ and so forth.
And we didn’t just study Christian literature together, she also read me hundreds of stories from Greek and Norse mythology, and I was engaged to a Jewish guy who converted from Catholicism before I married a religiously lax German Protestant, and we meditate with a Buddhist Sangha, so although there are a few gaps in my knowledge of mainstream religions I feel like I have a pretty good grounding in comparative religious studies.
I recently acquired a Young Reader’s Bible for my kids and was looking forward to sharing the same special memories with my girls but I just can’t seem to get started. As an adult I find that many of the Bible stories are difficult to tell children because they tend to ask all those why questions that are so inconvenient when you’re trying to find your faith.
There's still some magic - I mean, when Moses parts the Red Sea that totally rocks.
But I have issues with God, at least as He is depicted in the Bible. He is inconsistent, vengeful and not above wiping out entire cities or playing petty pranks on his most devoted worshippers. Not that he never comes through - I mean, he saved Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fiery furnace and Daniel got a break with that lion but he didn’t lift a finger to save his son and don’t even get me started about Job.
And the Garden of Eden, what was that all about? ‘See this tree full of delicious looking apples right in the middle of the garden? Don't eat any or I will be eternally pissed. Just enjoy the garden, worship me and don’t look at the apples. Have an apricot or a grape instead…. Did you just eat that apple? I can’t BELIEVE you ate that apple!!! I will SMITE your sorry ass for this!!!!’ And so on.
I realize that many people have found a loving, merciful God in the Bible and that's the kind of God I want, too. I'm looking for the God the Harlem Gospel Singers sing about, the ‘Rock of My Salvation’. I just can't find him in the Bible.
And I don’t like how Eve got blamed for everything, either. Adam's a spineless yutz and this is Eve's fault?
I also don’t care for the author’s note at the back of the Young Reader’s Bible that God personally oversaw the writing of the Bible. Is it just me or does it seem unlikely that someone who doesn’t lift a finger to fight AIDS, war or famine has time for, or interest in, authoring a book? Even a spectacularly popular book like the Bible.
I sometimes wonder why the Bible is so popular. God isn’t a very sympathetic hero, with all his ranting and city destroying. It isn’t particularly well-written, either, all that boring Ezrah son of Abraham stuff at the beginning of each chapter and mediocre character development. I mean, the God in the Old Testement has a completely different personality than the God in the New Testament.
But like The Devil Wears Prada (another poorly written book with an unsympathetic, badly developed main character that was amazingly popular), it has a few things going for it:
It has a catchy title. ‘The Bible’ has gravitas, dignity, authority. If they called it ‘People and Deities Behaving Badly’ instead it would lose much of its mass appeal and moral authority. Ditto ‘The Devil Wears Prada’- I mean, say it was called ‘The Really Mean Boss’ instead, would you read it?
It’s available in English, thus making it instantly more accessible than other viable religious texts with equally cool names like the Torah and the Quran. Ditto TDWP.
It has an appealing concept: Super powerful being offers perfect after life if you go to church and do what the priests tell you in this life. Ditto TDWP: Mean boss bullies plain mousy girl until she develops a fashion sense and stops being such a total weanie. People like to read stuff like that because it's reassuringly easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys.
Church backing also hasn’t hurt the Bible's popularity, given that the Church has more money than God (heh heh heh).
Incidentally, it just has occured to me that blaspheming right after a bad bout of bronchitis might not be such a hot idea. . .
I still pray to God when my kids are sick or I can’t find my keys. And I say 'God bless' when someone sneezes or as a gesture of support. But it doesn’t feel like I'm calling on the God from the Bible, more like something greater and less… uptight middle-aged white guy.
I'd like to leave you with this thought: Most mainstream religions have been adapted to fit personal agendas over the years - usually for the sake of fomenting violence, sometimes just for money - and Christianity is no exception. But if we boil them all down to their most basic tenets I think they are all trying to tell us the same thing:
We are all connected.
Love is more empowering than hate.
There is a higher purpose.
Live in this moment.
Do no harm.
Be helpful.
Since I don't want to offend anyone, I thought I'd take on a nice, safe topic like Christianity.
Me and Christianity go way back. My grandmother, a Presbyterian minister’s wife, used to read me Bible stories by the hour. She got a lot of babysitting mileage out of the Holy Book - not only is it chock full of short, action-packed stories, you can also make a game out of reciting the chapters: ‘Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1st and 2nd Samuel. . . ‘ and so forth.
And we didn’t just study Christian literature together, she also read me hundreds of stories from Greek and Norse mythology, and I was engaged to a Jewish guy who converted from Catholicism before I married a religiously lax German Protestant, and we meditate with a Buddhist Sangha, so although there are a few gaps in my knowledge of mainstream religions I feel like I have a pretty good grounding in comparative religious studies.
I recently acquired a Young Reader’s Bible for my kids and was looking forward to sharing the same special memories with my girls but I just can’t seem to get started. As an adult I find that many of the Bible stories are difficult to tell children because they tend to ask all those why questions that are so inconvenient when you’re trying to find your faith.
There's still some magic - I mean, when Moses parts the Red Sea that totally rocks.
But I have issues with God, at least as He is depicted in the Bible. He is inconsistent, vengeful and not above wiping out entire cities or playing petty pranks on his most devoted worshippers. Not that he never comes through - I mean, he saved Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fiery furnace and Daniel got a break with that lion but he didn’t lift a finger to save his son and don’t even get me started about Job.
And the Garden of Eden, what was that all about? ‘See this tree full of delicious looking apples right in the middle of the garden? Don't eat any or I will be eternally pissed. Just enjoy the garden, worship me and don’t look at the apples. Have an apricot or a grape instead…. Did you just eat that apple? I can’t BELIEVE you ate that apple!!! I will SMITE your sorry ass for this!!!!’ And so on.
I realize that many people have found a loving, merciful God in the Bible and that's the kind of God I want, too. I'm looking for the God the Harlem Gospel Singers sing about, the ‘Rock of My Salvation’. I just can't find him in the Bible.
And I don’t like how Eve got blamed for everything, either. Adam's a spineless yutz and this is Eve's fault?
I also don’t care for the author’s note at the back of the Young Reader’s Bible that God personally oversaw the writing of the Bible. Is it just me or does it seem unlikely that someone who doesn’t lift a finger to fight AIDS, war or famine has time for, or interest in, authoring a book? Even a spectacularly popular book like the Bible.
I sometimes wonder why the Bible is so popular. God isn’t a very sympathetic hero, with all his ranting and city destroying. It isn’t particularly well-written, either, all that boring Ezrah son of Abraham stuff at the beginning of each chapter and mediocre character development. I mean, the God in the Old Testement has a completely different personality than the God in the New Testament.
But like The Devil Wears Prada (another poorly written book with an unsympathetic, badly developed main character that was amazingly popular), it has a few things going for it:
It has a catchy title. ‘The Bible’ has gravitas, dignity, authority. If they called it ‘People and Deities Behaving Badly’ instead it would lose much of its mass appeal and moral authority. Ditto ‘The Devil Wears Prada’- I mean, say it was called ‘The Really Mean Boss’ instead, would you read it?
It’s available in English, thus making it instantly more accessible than other viable religious texts with equally cool names like the Torah and the Quran. Ditto TDWP.
It has an appealing concept: Super powerful being offers perfect after life if you go to church and do what the priests tell you in this life. Ditto TDWP: Mean boss bullies plain mousy girl until she develops a fashion sense and stops being such a total weanie. People like to read stuff like that because it's reassuringly easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys.
Church backing also hasn’t hurt the Bible's popularity, given that the Church has more money than God (heh heh heh).
Incidentally, it just has occured to me that blaspheming right after a bad bout of bronchitis might not be such a hot idea. . .
I still pray to God when my kids are sick or I can’t find my keys. And I say 'God bless' when someone sneezes or as a gesture of support. But it doesn’t feel like I'm calling on the God from the Bible, more like something greater and less… uptight middle-aged white guy.
I'd like to leave you with this thought: Most mainstream religions have been adapted to fit personal agendas over the years - usually for the sake of fomenting violence, sometimes just for money - and Christianity is no exception. But if we boil them all down to their most basic tenets I think they are all trying to tell us the same thing:
We are all connected.
Love is more empowering than hate.
There is a higher purpose.
Live in this moment.
Do no harm.
Be helpful.
December 2, 2008
Meditations About Meditation
Sometime during our California sojourn Ralf and I joined a Sangha, which is a group of people who get together to meditate. Well, actually Ralf joined and I came along to have dinner out with my husband afterwards. I was not looking for enlightenment or happiness or inner peace, as I felt that I already had more or less enough of these things to be going on with. The Sangha leader was younger and more humorous than I had expected and immediately caught my attention by pointing out that most of us don’t have the luxury of pursuing enlightenment in a beautiful Zen retreat. With that statement he differentiated himself from traditional spiritual leaders who seem a bit out of touch with daily modern life. His take on enlightenment (and I’m way oversimplifying here) is the practice of giving yourself some distance from your ‘problems’ by watching yourself react to them. Metaphysically speaking, you take a step back and try to see things more clearly and less emotionally. You do this by sitting still, shutting up and watching your thoughts. Or, as he put it, ‘facing your life.’ This approach is equally applicable in a Zen retreat or a hectic professional life.
I don’t pretend to be a good or even consistent sitter but I am a believer. From the outset I found that my busy mind welcomed a bit of calm and after a few minutes of relative mental stillness it would start to feel as if my brain was tingling. I’m thinking that the brain is so used to being constantly active, hyperactively throwing out scenarios in order to be prepared for any eventuality, that it starts following the same old pathways by rote. We might call that being smart or analytical or professional or paranoid but what it amounts to is that you’re so good at a certain type of thinking after years of practice that you don’t have to put much effort into it any more. A natural outcome of all this repetitive activity is that the brain doesn’t need to develop in new areas because it’s already good at what has made you successful and you’re busy so why bother? Anyway, my interpretation of that tingling sensation is that the brain seizes the opportunity to stretch out a bit as soon as those stagnant old thoughts stop hogging the stage.
OK, I’m probably wrong about this but tingly brain feels pretty neat.
There are undeniable and well-documented health benefits to stilling your thoughts. Just as sweating in a sauna can remove toxins from your body, regularly sitting to calm those restless, circular thoughts can help quiet the poisonous thoughts that harm you. And this process is what over time allows you to create space or distance around your problems so they don’t loom quite so large. And more importantly, your response to them becomes more appropriate, which in turn makes them smaller. We've all experienced how an overemotional response to a problem tends to make it worse. Luckily, the reverse is also true.
My personal example of the ‘space around your problems’ thing happened one evening early on when I arrived at Sangha absolutely furious over something at work. I was vastly pissed off and I didn’t expect to be able to sit still at all, let alone quiet my thoughts. Oddly enough, that was one of my best sittings. I suddenly had this incredible sensation of splitting into two awarenesses, one childish and furious and the other calm, loving and wise. The angry one was clearly me but I was able to recognize myself in the wise one as well, which felt kind of like me when I’m at my best as a mom. As this wise motherly presence I was able to watch my own tantrum with love and patience just as if I were one of my own kids and see how trivial the problem was in the grand scheme of things. It was kind of like when a friend describes some situation that is causing them pain and you are able to see clearly that it’s not that bad because you’re not the one caught up in it. There was space around the problem that allowed me to observe my reaction to it impartially.
This personality split is what is referred to as 'beginner's luck,' where you have a cool spiritual experience early on in your practice and then nothing for the next ten years. It has not happened since and I’m happy to report that although myriad things have annoyed me in the meantime, there hasn’t been anything else bad enough to trigger schizophrenia. But the experience created a lasting impression and a belief that we are more than our little concerns and subjective experiences and that we’d all be happier if we’d treat ourselves with the same love and tolerance we give our kids (on a good day, that is).
I admit that I am not very far along the Buddhist path and I certainly wouldn’t call myself a Buddhist. The interconnectedness of everything doesn’t impress me much as a reason to, say, love thy neighbor (that is, I believe that we’re all interconnected but I still think some people totally suck), and I also believe in good and evil, despite my Sangha leader’s best efforts to change my mind. But the practice of meditation offers some cool takeaways even for us spiritual Philistines.
For example, one of my go to practices while sitting is something that both Anthony Robbins and Eckhart Tolle recommend: I concentrate on the force of life in my hands. That probably sounds corny if you haven’t tried it but think about it: something flows through the universe on a such a microscopic level we can only theorize about it after years of graduate school, connecting everything, holding it all together somehow. This is now accepted in both the spiritual sphere (well, at least by the Buddhists) and the scientific sphere. And the amazing thing is that if you focus your undivided attention on your hands you can actually start to feel that something, or at least a darn good imitation. For some reason it’s stronger in the hands than other parts of the body and stronger still if you bring your hands near each other without touching. It’s not your soul, it’s certainly not your thoughts but it might just be the source of life itself. And the really cool thing is that if I pet my cat after doing this he gets a light static shock so he tends to stay away from me when I'm sitting.
I sometimes wonder what kind of world this would be if we taught our children to pay attention to the life within them instead of how to follow schedules, take tests and manipulate people to get what they want?
Anyway, believe me or don’t, but give it a try. Tingly hands are almost as cool as tingly brain and quite refreshing after hours of compensation design.
And my very favorite thing about sitting? You’ll never guess. It’s the laughter. Sometimes when I’m watching my own thoughts I hear the most fantastic, joyful laughter in my head. It kind of sounds like me but more so. It doesn’t happen often and it’s probably just my own imagined reaction to some silly egoic thoughts I’m having but whoever it is laughing in there sounds like someone I want to know better.
So at the end of the day I keep sitting, hoping it’s me.
I don’t pretend to be a good or even consistent sitter but I am a believer. From the outset I found that my busy mind welcomed a bit of calm and after a few minutes of relative mental stillness it would start to feel as if my brain was tingling. I’m thinking that the brain is so used to being constantly active, hyperactively throwing out scenarios in order to be prepared for any eventuality, that it starts following the same old pathways by rote. We might call that being smart or analytical or professional or paranoid but what it amounts to is that you’re so good at a certain type of thinking after years of practice that you don’t have to put much effort into it any more. A natural outcome of all this repetitive activity is that the brain doesn’t need to develop in new areas because it’s already good at what has made you successful and you’re busy so why bother? Anyway, my interpretation of that tingling sensation is that the brain seizes the opportunity to stretch out a bit as soon as those stagnant old thoughts stop hogging the stage.
OK, I’m probably wrong about this but tingly brain feels pretty neat.
There are undeniable and well-documented health benefits to stilling your thoughts. Just as sweating in a sauna can remove toxins from your body, regularly sitting to calm those restless, circular thoughts can help quiet the poisonous thoughts that harm you. And this process is what over time allows you to create space or distance around your problems so they don’t loom quite so large. And more importantly, your response to them becomes more appropriate, which in turn makes them smaller. We've all experienced how an overemotional response to a problem tends to make it worse. Luckily, the reverse is also true.
My personal example of the ‘space around your problems’ thing happened one evening early on when I arrived at Sangha absolutely furious over something at work. I was vastly pissed off and I didn’t expect to be able to sit still at all, let alone quiet my thoughts. Oddly enough, that was one of my best sittings. I suddenly had this incredible sensation of splitting into two awarenesses, one childish and furious and the other calm, loving and wise. The angry one was clearly me but I was able to recognize myself in the wise one as well, which felt kind of like me when I’m at my best as a mom. As this wise motherly presence I was able to watch my own tantrum with love and patience just as if I were one of my own kids and see how trivial the problem was in the grand scheme of things. It was kind of like when a friend describes some situation that is causing them pain and you are able to see clearly that it’s not that bad because you’re not the one caught up in it. There was space around the problem that allowed me to observe my reaction to it impartially.
This personality split is what is referred to as 'beginner's luck,' where you have a cool spiritual experience early on in your practice and then nothing for the next ten years. It has not happened since and I’m happy to report that although myriad things have annoyed me in the meantime, there hasn’t been anything else bad enough to trigger schizophrenia. But the experience created a lasting impression and a belief that we are more than our little concerns and subjective experiences and that we’d all be happier if we’d treat ourselves with the same love and tolerance we give our kids (on a good day, that is).
I admit that I am not very far along the Buddhist path and I certainly wouldn’t call myself a Buddhist. The interconnectedness of everything doesn’t impress me much as a reason to, say, love thy neighbor (that is, I believe that we’re all interconnected but I still think some people totally suck), and I also believe in good and evil, despite my Sangha leader’s best efforts to change my mind. But the practice of meditation offers some cool takeaways even for us spiritual Philistines.
For example, one of my go to practices while sitting is something that both Anthony Robbins and Eckhart Tolle recommend: I concentrate on the force of life in my hands. That probably sounds corny if you haven’t tried it but think about it: something flows through the universe on a such a microscopic level we can only theorize about it after years of graduate school, connecting everything, holding it all together somehow. This is now accepted in both the spiritual sphere (well, at least by the Buddhists) and the scientific sphere. And the amazing thing is that if you focus your undivided attention on your hands you can actually start to feel that something, or at least a darn good imitation. For some reason it’s stronger in the hands than other parts of the body and stronger still if you bring your hands near each other without touching. It’s not your soul, it’s certainly not your thoughts but it might just be the source of life itself. And the really cool thing is that if I pet my cat after doing this he gets a light static shock so he tends to stay away from me when I'm sitting.
I sometimes wonder what kind of world this would be if we taught our children to pay attention to the life within them instead of how to follow schedules, take tests and manipulate people to get what they want?
Anyway, believe me or don’t, but give it a try. Tingly hands are almost as cool as tingly brain and quite refreshing after hours of compensation design.
And my very favorite thing about sitting? You’ll never guess. It’s the laughter. Sometimes when I’m watching my own thoughts I hear the most fantastic, joyful laughter in my head. It kind of sounds like me but more so. It doesn’t happen often and it’s probably just my own imagined reaction to some silly egoic thoughts I’m having but whoever it is laughing in there sounds like someone I want to know better.
So at the end of the day I keep sitting, hoping it’s me.
October 22, 2008
The Quantum and the Lotus
This book features a dialog between a Buddhist monk who trained as a genetcist and an astrophysicist. They discuss a wide range of topics, including the nature of the universe and how Buddhism and quantum theory intersect. One very interesting point brought up in the book is the amazing unlikelyhood of this universe having all the right parameters to support life. Apparently there are no less than 15 parameters that needed to be calibrated exactly right, such as gravitational force, speed of light, mass of elementary particles, etc. This would seem to argue for a creationist force but as Buddhism points out, this doesn't solve the intellectual problem because who created the creator then?
Anyway, if you're struggling to understand the universe this is a good read.
Anyway, if you're struggling to understand the universe this is a good read.
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