February 4, 2009

Was it something I said?

When we first moved back to Munich I joined an English speaking playgroup. It was one of the few in our neck of the woods that also meets in the afternoon so I felt pretty lucky to find it - most of them meet somewhere far away in the mornings.

There has been some normal attrition - a few people moved, one mother who takes a very active role is having a baby, another has decided to do gymnastics instead.
The result? Last week no one was there except me and one other German mom. Before Christmas we were packed in with a dozen moms and about 30 kids, and now we're down to just the 5 of us. . . was it something I said?
You see, this sort of thing has happened before. . . social groups fall apart when I join them.
And yet, I'm nice. Occassionally witty. My kids are fairly well-behaved and play well with others. I like people of all races, nationalities and religions, as long as they're just like me. I even pretend to like tea.
It can't be me, can it?
To add insult to injury, this playgroup has existed and thrived for over 10 years. They've had to turn people away. So, not that I'm paranoid or anything but I am starting to wonder if hanging with me is social death.
When I mentioned this to Ralf he was supportive and sympathetic as always.
"I'm sure it's not you, honey," he assured me.
"Mmmmn." I carried on flossing, not totally convinced. (I even floss, people! What's not to love???)
He tried again. "I mean, if all our friends start moving away from Munich now that we're back we can revisit this."
That man is always there for me. I really don't deserve him.
"Although. . . " he began, then hesitated.
Uh oh. I know that tone. Here it comes.
"Well, just in case. . . maybe you shouldn't go to Oktoberfest this year."


  1. I've had that same experience before. It does make you wonder about yourself, doesn't it:)

  2. It probably has more to do with flu season than your shining personality! (Unless you've been here too and have managed to offend people in our kids' Taekwando group and their classes at school. ;-) Which I seriously doubt...)

  3. I like you and I would be in a playgroup with you. If I lived in Germany. If I didn't already have my own built-in playgroup (triplets). If I liked participating in large group activities.

    Oh, ok, maybe playgroup isn't the right scenario. But I'm glad to hear that oral hygiene is important to you!

  4. I'm sure it's totally you. That sign is completely right. :P


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