Accordingly we dressed her up in a cute little skirt and tights and even brushed her hair. Then Ralf set off for the party with the girls and I headed out to the gym.
When I got home K was still at the party but L came running to greet me. Apparently she was not allowed to stay at the party, for reasons Ralf was unable to explain satisfactorily. So we read some books and played Memory until it was time to pick up K.
Yesterday during gymnastics after school Tina's mom approached me. "Sorry I couldn't invite L to the party this weekend," she said. "But it was really for older girls. I think K had a nice time, though."
I assured her that I totally understood.
She continued: "My youngest daughter didn't want her there. She doesn't like L."
I found this additional explanation unnecessary and somewhat offputting, but allowed that chemistry is important at parties.
There was more: "K and Tina get along so well. Maybe we could do a playdate at our house. Just K, though, since my youngest daugher detests L."
Please note that 'detest' is my translation of, 'Sie kann L nicht leiden,' and is probably harsher than intended.
I managed to respond that play dates are fun and omit any reference to flying pigs.
Later I reflected that I may have been too hard on her, at least in my thoughts. She has three small kids and the last thing she needs is an extra kid in her house that her middle child won't play with. And it's not like I've never been so intent on explaining something that I offended somebody about something.
But still. Who could resist this sweet little schnookums???
I think she could have been a bit more tactful. I mean kids are kids and girls can be best friends one moment and enemies the next, but adults know better!
ReplyDeleteWow unbelievable how about a little tact? Your right who could resist such a cutie!
ReplyDeleteThat, to me, is just weird. Here's an idea - how about she teaches her child a few lessons about 'how to get along'.
ReplyDeleteI think she is a bit looney. Next time she wants your oldest girl to come play with her oldest girl, she just calls you and asks if K can come over. You would not bring over L if she just invited K. The lady is bossy and lacking in social skills.
ReplyDeleteMy fave part is when your Hubs couldn't explain satisfactorily. Mine can have a whole conversation with someone and then only remember to relay about 2 sentences to me at most.
Tina's mom is a DOLT! 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteOh, I think you were right to be offended. That was far too much info she shared with you. No mom wants to hear that anyone dislikes her daughter and that other mom should have kept that part of the conversation to herself.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, that little one is adorable!
She sounds like the type of woman who likes to stir the pot. Good for you for not giving her a spoon.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Not sure that such tough honesty is really helpful. Why not try to find out why they don't get on and help them at least tolerate each other?
ReplyDeleteWow, is this an example of German efficiency (directness/rudeness)??
ReplyDeleteYikes! She is starting Mean Girls!
ReplyDeleteBlogger ate my comment! But yes- that was viciously rude. I don;t know how it is by you, but here when we go on playdates it's not yet drop off (function, perhaps, of distance and little time when we have all day school). If someone with a child both my children's ages asked for a "singleton" playdate, I would just say, no". I would also say (and I know that your German is far batter than mine, that that type of rudeness, which she may think of as German directness, is not considered friendly in my country and that perhaps she should discuss with her daughter why she doesn't like nice little girls. I would then never speak to her in any but a frigid way again unless she apologized or did a German variant of that (most Germans I know will never take personal responsibility- it's all passive voice- but they will make a friendly gesture in expiation of rudeness if they care to).
ReplyDeleteWow! No mom whould ever hear that kids don't like her kid! It may happen...but I don't want anyone to tell me their kids doesn't like my kid! I agree "What is not to like! She is a doll!" Anyway...I don't really give kids an option not to like anther child anyway! There is a girl in my daughters class who has said some pretty mean things to her but you know what...THAT is the child I have over for playdates so I can teach them to get along...teach them how to talk nice to each other & because ...no one else will want tohave her over & she is someone's daughter too! Sorry that you were hurt...because you know what...that does hurt! (Sorry about the soap box but I got soooooooooooo mad!! :)
ReplyDeleteI think any reasonable child should adore spending time with your little schnookums.
ReplyDeleteThat is horrible! She used the word "detests"? I save that for in-laws and politicians. And your daughter is adorable! I don't see how anyone could look at that little face and send her home.
ReplyDeleteYou're far too kind. I would not have wanted either of my children at her house after she said those unkind things.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think you handled that very well. You should be a politician.
ReplyDeleteIs this a German thing?
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! To be honest, I'm not sure she's German, they could be Eastern European or Russian. There's an accent. And I think she was just being too honest, not trying to be totally rude. Her manner was friendly, just her words were a bit off.
ReplyDeleteI also find myself a bit protective of my younger girl which is what makes this even more annoying. She would have been so much smarter to suggest that *she* can't handle the younger kids which seems to be what the real issue is (oh, that and her other daughter is a snob) ;-).
ReplyDeleteGerman directness or plain old rudeness? This woman sounds like she wants to totally control her children's social life -- after all, the 2 Kindergarteners spend time together during the day, don't need to be able to get along there, and until the birthday party, you and L were under the impression that they do?
ReplyDeleteAn interesting experiment would be to invite both girls over to your house -- Perhaps you could ask them when you're picking L up from Kindergarten -- how would the little girl like the idea of coming over to play sometime? If the girl likes the idea but the mom pipes in with objections, that tells you something!